Composting: clumps or chunks of productive information that I keep adding to so I can create my blog-a lot of thoughts that my not all be used but they help me get an understanding to increase my chance of the reader understanding my work; a guideline. Shelley Jackson’s Storyspace is a compost, it never ends, like the brain, it never stops unless there is damage and she does not have damage to the brain
- - – - = = . . . : :—–
What is schizophrenia?
Schizophrenia is a chronic, severe, and disabling brain disorder that has been recognized throughout recorded history. It affects about 1 percent of Americans.
People with schizophrenia may hear voices other people don’t hear or they may believe that others are reading their minds, controlling their thoughts, or plotting to harm them. These experiences are terrifying and can cause fearfulness, withdrawal, or extreme agitation. People with schizophrenia may not make sense when they talk, may sit for hours without moving or talking much, or may seem perfectly fine until they talk about what they are really thinking. Because many people with schizophrenia have difficulty holding a job or caring for themselves, the burden on their families and society is significant as well.
Schizophrenics= mainly women, wonder if what [I’m saying is true], people are afraid of them, they cannot keep jobs which hurts their families economically, stressful, known as Crazy
Shelley= fantasy and reality: wishes she had some qualities of her girl. Reality, trying to find who she is; is that how I am? Cries, In life Shelley wishes she could be what she invisioned, but no one lives up to their ultimate ideal, “feminine complaints” get husband nervous and walks away, wants to experience more
Girl Monster=scars: Shelley feels connected with monster, they are sectors in a patterned swatch quilt, the new tough growth is hot with emotion and sensation that they share
She’s Crazy, Is a normal phrase
Complex= mind and brain work together to cluster related senses to form a memory or experience; gives meaning, if you don’t want to go deep down inside you to find out who you are then you are not open to share your facts and you don’t trust how you can find them aka too disorganized don’t know how it works aka storyspace,
I could go on forever, but there are not enough hours in the day to explain the never ending and always meaningful stitches
Controversial: doesn’t have a start or an end you just gather memories [do you remember your first memory? You don’t it’s made up with what your loved ones informed you about, too young to remember; unable]- haven’t learned to how to process meaning. Good writing is perceived as linear you can’t go from A to B to C; not logical. Make example my cat to I like flowers to my toe hurts. Unmatched colors being different races, thought beauty
Masculine=control, permanent world and solid and stable, logic, Ego, direct, easy to understand how people want people to perceive them, writing has no emotion.
Feminine= Lose control, start off with not having meaning, formless, shapeless, unstructured, don’t cover up a mistake, it could be important later, a word or thought scares you go into detail to find the meaning, contaminated, mixed, tainted, infected, poisoned [impure], multiple thoughts, thoughts hard to pin down to make an easy logic. How to make meaning and remember an experience, cluster of ideas, or a word from seeing hearing tasting smelling aka how the brain works.
Each new time you sit to write, to write well you must remember that this sitting is a new journey with no developed maps, un-mappable, invisible, (have no expectations or worries or doubts of good or bad writing); just know it’s physical: thoughts are faster than what we can put down onto paper, when you write you physically can’t catch every word. A lot of experience or thought your font changes it may be harder to read and the lines are slurred together. You may be unable to think of something so your letters are neat, but few.
When you write your first thoughts let yourself go and don’t stop because it’s not important to get control of rereading to understand what you’re saying, if you write the wrong thing leave it; don’t hide y. If something scares you or is unprotected, stripped, exposed like a word focus on that single word to release the energies powerful meaning/ experience. Don’t stop at the great emotions like crying, don’t make yourself stop crying fight through the tears to get to the point of why that sentence made you cry
Complexity
Simplicity: the brain is always taking senses in and stores them in related sections to pull out when an event is triggered by a thought; writing is never perfect so accept it so you won’t feel bad when someone doesn’t like it. Writing stabilizes after you experience
Stitch, Bitch- husband telling her to stop being emotional and to physically do something so he commands and controls her and to the point says…
Shelley Jackson wrote a controversial hypertext titled Patchwork Girl. This type of hypertext is controversial because many readers feel frustrated with its complexity and they automatically destroy their vision of the simplicity and meaning of writing. I encode this technologically advanced book as a world turned right-side up from a permanent brain disorder called schizophrenia. Schizophrenics experience continuous hears non-existent voices of peoples controlling their thoughts and plans to harm them, which create continuous torment of severe terror, isolation, or disturbance.
A book so automatic turning the pages following the orders of the lines that always remain the same, with PG no knows about it; where it begins or ends [follow writing and life rules of being open to the new, don’t judge it just accept it. May be hard to grasp because adolescent college students are at difference stages of their lives, some are open to change and accept that it is always happening, others block out change if they don’t like it so they don’t have to accept that they are not becoming their ideal. Want to be a bio major but failed bio, so they don’t tell their parents because they think their dreams are crushed. They are unable to accept that they let not studying occur.
A book is what you were introduced to learn how to read so with PG you have to learn a new way to read.
“It is amazing that when you give those voices [feelings of frustration] writing space, [to express the fight within] their complaining quickly gets boring and you get sick of them.”
PG is exploring your boundaries of accepting new ways to read and learn, there are no boundaries to the hypertext, you read for 30mins and you just explore where you hop from link to link and patch the 30 minutes of evidence together. It’s like freshman year at college you accept the change, some better than others, and you learn how to study, write, read, be on your own, ect. And by the end of the year you have learned how to overcome bad roommates and mature as a person. And you repeat that three more times. In class I struggle to keep my mouth shut because I want to share what I have learned from this experience of being open minded to continuous learning. I accept the others frustration, that I overcame, but now I tune out the complaints or I ague in my head with what they are saying with my basic meanings of PG.
Together the Brain and mind are complex, but we unconsciously let them take in new things that come our way. These are stored if important and meaningful to our experiences. Floating around in similar cluster and as we begin to write, the unconscious related clusters begin to flow out onto paper, some words stand out so we give them details and extreme emotions. Eventually from the garbage you write and the worthy ones you take pride in, the abundance will flourish into a stable human being.
Beginning of my experience:
“To be linked to the chain of existence and events, yes, but bond by it? No, I forge my own links, I am building my own monstrous chain and as time goes on, perhaps, it will begin to resemble rather a web.”
Ex: accurate view of good writing; word to meaning to many more experiences, loose bc not structured on how you get to them, feminine: she wants to be independent, wants to feel many new strong emotions. Stitches own black thread meaning to her, put thought and emotions into making her happy,
Sewed not so permanent so when the girl gets angry her face begins to unhinges, frightens Shelley, but she knows her manic will stop and she will help her.
Stitch: a single word or idea that links to a meaning and it repeats, some words have more meaning than others. Goes in different pathways to get to sections so they can be best remebered
Bitch: dehumanization,
Bitch relates to Crazy: both commonly used out of ignorance. A part of our culture. Both looked down upon, not accepting. Each have two different meanings the inhumane ones are used mainly with our culture…. Controversial: people perceive them differently even though they have obvious distinctions. Use it out of lack of respect or knowledge
Ex: Girl to Girl- That Bitch makes me do all the work.
Guy to Girl- She’s my Bitch
Ex: Girl to Girl- She just did a flip! That’s crazy
Guy to girl- She dances freaky crazy
Ex: female dog
Ex: The incepting public: She’s scares me! She is crazy
Or together: that crazy bitch: in a hateful way. That bitch is crazy.
The dotted line-hop, People experience the cycles of the highs and lows of life that teach us how to control our thoughts. Because of composting from garbage [accept] writing develops and stabilizes. Potential to change makes a trail of meaning and keeps making an infinite amount of trails LTM storages is unlimitless.
Quilt and Stitch: Shelley stitched with black thread that she saw as words that she saw as writing the seams or scars [joined together from two skins or patterned cloth] new strong growth. When caressed Shelley felt her stitched seams that she worked hard and and grew attachment to. Making the patchwork girl she grew attached because she made it into something she will never be which she learns to accept. Memories, like bits of patterned cloth not all kept like Frankenstein’s. Black thread stands out against the shades of skins. Scars important they divide different sectors that have different skins touch senses and pains. Patches easily seen new boarders old used skin. Stitches very powerful they are created from the recovery of two single used skins or lives. When fully healed, the sense of touch is sensitive, but it’s tough because it covers such pain. Saying bitch with stitch means they are easly spotted recognized but as they absorb that hurt, they feel pain from the unaccepted. As they get used to being the bitch the scars are strengthened and they accept or numb this label. Label; identity; low class= accept that’s what known for but doesn’t let it get to her PG because at first, yes. But cycles of learning made her realize who she is and the stitches grow stronger as she gets more experiences….
